I'm sitting in the dental chair receiving the 67 minute root canal from hell and all the while my endodontist (a fancy dentist) is breathing over me with the worst breath ever. Is this an example of irony? A dentist with bad breath?
Here are the progression of thoughts running through my head during said root canal:
- He doesn't have a wedding band, I'm pretty sure he's single.
- With a unibrow like that it's no wonder he's single.
- I wonder what his dates think when he leans in for the kiss, all the night explaining his job as a dentist, and his mouth smells like a cat litter box.
- I'd think he was lying about being a dentist, saying that just to try and impress me.
- It's just not possible for a dentist to have bad breath, that goes against every ad campaign Crest and Colgate have supported!
- What made him decide it would be fun to drill holes in peoples teeth for a living?
- Perhaps he started out in construction but since he's a rather small man he wasn't strong enough to drill holes in the ground so he moved onto more proportionate objects.
- I wonder when they're going to finish the construction on the off-ramp for Pomerado road. I am so sick of waiting an additional twenty minutes to get to school.
- I should email my professor tonight and tell him I wont be in class because of this root canal. I can't feel the left side of my body and I'm pretty sure my cheeks resemble Alvin the chipmunk, in a non-cute way.
And we've come full circle.
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