At peace with the loss of Gina

Looking back at my previous blog, I realized what a complete psycho I sounded like, ranting and raving about the theft of my crappy car, and by crappy, I mean CRAPPY. I gave a slight amount of serious thought to the type of moron that would steal such a giant heap of trash, and this is the story I decided on...

Johnny P. Gangsta thinks he's 'hard', really 'hard'. He's 13, his parents are checked out (and by checked out I mean in prison, on drugs, deceased, etc.) so Johnny turns to his 'homies' for companionship. In order to be part of the Blood-family, Johnny must be jumped in. This entails his 'family' beating the crud out of him and him doing something completely ridiculous, like.... say.... steal a car.

So Johnny cruises around some middle class neighborhood, say... at-or-about 2 am on Friday October 19th, 2007, and sees a Honda Civic parked on the street. He jumps out of his 'homies' car and peeks in the Civic. He sees a decent CD player and decides this is the car he will bring back as proof that he is worthy to 'bang' (and no, I'm not making 'these' words up, this is what the kids I work with tell me). He does his car thieving thing (I have no idea what this entails) and speeds off, jamming to an awesomely bad country CD that was left in the player.

He returns to his gang buddies, car in tow, his face beaming with pride! Little does he know all that is wrong with the Civic:

-The tires are bald
-There is a giant crack spanning 3/4 of the windshield
-The front two windows, if fully rolled down, will not go back up without a near-20 minute fight
-The driver side visor flops down at random intervals
-She has 200,000 miles
-She needs a new timing belt
-She burns oil like nobody's business
-She just had new brakes installed!
-She makes this lovely clicking noise (in protest I assume) when she has to stop, especially if it's cold
-She hates hills and loves to overheat when she is forced to climb them
-If he pulls the car too far into one of those parking spaces with a curb, the front bumper will get stuck and subsequently fall off, making a complete fool of the person who has to reattach it to the car (this fool used to be me, no more!)

I have this great visual of the Bloods leader looking at Johnny with complete disappointment, "Tell me you did not bring that pile of crap in here, I'm not trying to drive no white ladies piece of crap!" (I do realize how completely unlikely this situation is, and that my car is probably in 300 or more parts, which are already on ebay to be sold across the country.)

So perhaps all of this was a secret blessing. Maybe there's a really bizarre gang out there that steals cars which are on the verge of death and they see their work as doing the world a favor, one crappy car at a time.

**Update on Gina: She has been found! Turns out she wasn't stripped totally naked, I'm glad to hear they kept the violations to a minimum. They took the stereo, speakers, and the front bumper, although I'm not sure that they intentionally took the bumper or it fell off as described above. Miss you girl!**